New Beginning

I have never been popular.

In 6th grade, another student dubbed me “The Retarded Zebra”. His reasons? I had a blue jumper with large white polka dots that I liked to wear. According to him, I was such a stupid zebra that I had spots instead of stripes. Hence, “The Retarded Zebra”. The most ridiculous part of this? This boy had been in my gifted classes for the last two years, so he knew darn well that I was far from retarded.

Even back then, it didn’t really bother me that much. So he didn’t like what I chose to wear. Why would I care? But now, as a teacher myself, I recognize that this was in some ways, a form of bullying. It makes for a great lesson to share with my munchkins! [Other names I was called: “Old Faithful” [after an unfortunate incident of flatulence] and “Amish Girl” due to a favorite long jean skirt with a lace hem.]

I’ve been interested in the idea of blogging for a few years now, and the first name I thought of was ‘The Intelligent Zebra’. To me, at least, it has an interesting ring to it. And I like that I am reclaiming myself from the teasing of the past.

But why start now? I am 36 years old, have a good job, and LOTS of debt. Considering there is only me, it seems like a MOUNTAIN of debt. Close to $60,000. Yikes! How did I get here? There are many, many reasons, but the biggest is that I simply did not make smart financial decisions.

1. I got my first credit card at 18 when I started college. And immediately started to charge whatever I wanted. What did it matter? I could afford the minimum payments, and that was all that mattered.
2. While struggling with depression, I used my credit card to try and buy my way into happiness.
3. After graduation, I got a somewhat decent job, but continued to use my credit cards [now more than one!] whenever I wanted something AND only paid the minimum payments each month. But it was fine! I could afford it!
4. A little over a year after graduating with my Bachelors, I decided I wasn’t happy with my current job and wanted to become a teacher. Problem: my degree was in Biology, and I wanted to teach elementary school. So I went to graduate school [at a private college!] to get my Masters in Elementary Education. And I used federal student loans to cover my tuition and living expenses for that 18 month program – to the tune of about $40,000.
5. I graduated December 2007 and started looking for my first teaching job. I wasted a LOT of time waiting on responses from ‘interesting’ jobs instead of looking everywhere and anywhere to start teaching.
6. After 6 months with no job offers, I finally started working part-time at a call center as a hated telemarketer. I hated it – but knew I needed to start making some money. Later on, I took a job as a private kindergarten tutor and a nanny.
7. 18 months after I graduated, I finally landed my first teaching job. And of course, I applied for more credit cards and kept spending like there was no tomorrow.
8. I finally paid off my first car – but instead of running it into the ground, I traded it in and financed another car. [At least it was used!] And here is where I remember learning that things were not going as well as I thought – after purchasing the car, I realized I needed to buy a bed because I didn’t have one! [I had been borrowing a friend’s for the summer, but she was coming back.] I went to the mattress store and tested out all sorts of huge, glorious pillowtop mattresses – but when I tried to buy one [for $1,000!], my credit request was denied.
9. Did I wake up and smell the coffee? Of course not! I hobbled by for the next year [one time a friend had to buy groceries for me!] and then thought I’d found the answer. Get a personal loan to pay off the credit cards and all my problems would be solved!
10. Yeah, that didn’t work. Oh, I got my loan [$4000 worth], but then proceeded to charge the crap out my credit cards AGAIN. But I was moving to my first apartment of my own, and needed things like a TV and furniture and cute furnishings. And I could afford the minimum payments, right? Nope.
11. I lived paycheck to paycheck [and sometimes couldn’t even manage that] for the next few years. I took a second job at a tutoring company, but I didn’t work enough hours to really make a difference. And of course, I KEPT CHARGING!
12. By this point, I was miserable at my school and was desperately looking for a new job – even a non-teaching job. It took 6 months, but I finally found another teaching job in Utah.
13. While emotionally and personally it was the best decision I made, financially, it was a different story. In North Carolina, their pay periods ran from August to July. In Utah, their year ran from September to August. Meaning I would work for almost 6 weeks before getting a paycheck.
14. I had NOTHING in savings to help cover the cost of the move. So again, I was using credit cards to cover the expense.
15. After starting at my new school, I discovered that I would have to take a teacher certification exam and pass it before I would be paid as a teacher. For the first 6 months, I was paid as an unlicensed teacher – almost $500/month less than what I thought I would be making.
16. During that time, I fell behind on most of my bills, and two of my cards were closed. But of course that doesn’t mean I could forget about them – I still had to pay the balances, AND I was still being charged interest.
17. In January 2015, I completed all the necessary paperwork and was finally being paid as an experienced teacher with a Masters degree. Everything should have been turning around – but it didn’t.
18. I STILL hadn’t learned my lesson, and continued to use my credit cards [I think I had 5!] whenever I wanted to buy something that I didn’t have the cash for.
19. And then came probably my biggest financial mistake: I discovered payday loans. Ouch!
20. I used payday loans fairly regularly to help cover my monthly expenses for the next 18 months.
21. In March 2016, I decided to move into an apartment on my own – I had been sharing a house with 2 other teachers, but the situation was becoming unbearable. I actually made a budget to see if I could afford it – and thankfully, I could!
22. I took out my last payday loan that summer and paid it off before the school year started. I was determined to stop using them to make ends meet.
23. But I still used my credit cards ALL THE TIME. And by now, I had 4 different credit cards [3 of which were maxed out.]
24. Over the summer of 2017, I decided I wanted to get serious about paying off my debt, and I did make some progress – but not much. And of course, whenever some big-ticket item came up, I tended to reach for the credit cards.

But that was then. This is now. And now – I am PISSED at the amount of debt I have. I’m furious with myself for letting it get this bad. I am an intelligent person – but I finally realize all the stupid decisions I’ve made financially. I bought Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover and read about Baby Steps 1 and 2. Then, I sat down last weekend and actually crunched the numbers. I looked up all my debt [now 6 credit cards, a car loan, and student loans] and then figured out how much of my income I’m spending on debt.

As embarrassing as it is to admit – I spend about 40% of my take-home income on just the MINIMUM payments toward all my debt. That just makes me sick to my stomach. And it actually goes above 50% because I’ve been trying to pay more than the minimum. Most of the interest rates are sky-high too, so that makes it even worse.

But for the first time – I got mad at my debt. I got mad at myself for letting it get this bad. And with that anger, I finally decided to take charge of my finances and attack my debt. I don’t want to have it hanging over my head for decades. I don’t want to feel like I have to keep working in a job I don’t always enjoy simply to keep current on my payments. I want to have options available to me – and they aren’t available while I owe so much money to others.

So now, I am proudly stating that I am committing to the Dave Ramsey method. I WILL complete Baby Step #1 and have an emergency fund [that will only be for TRUE emergencies!]. I WILL complete Baby Step #2 and pay off all my debts – all credit cards, my car loan, and my student loans. I am starting this blog as a way to be accountable – and I’m hoping to make some new friends along the way.

What’s your story? I love to read other success stories and see how people fought their way back out of debt.

Thanks for reading,

The Intelligent Zebra